Fools' Quest
by Axel'sWaterBaby
Summary: In which Demyx and Axel compete for the title of "The King of all Idiots". AU, Roxiri, and Akudemy. Sorta.  Warnings: Swearing, and minor BL. Please Read and Review.
1. In Which The Exposition Happens

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. 'Cause y'know, there would totally be a bull-fighting mini-game if I did.

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Like you weren't thinking about it =P

* * *

"I AM NOT A DUMBASS!"

Axel's face contorted into a look of pure disbelief, as he heard Demyx screech. Well, it twisted as much as his sexy face could twist, which wasn't much. "Seriously? Have you looked in a mirror recently Dem-ass?"

Demyx's eyes welled up with tears, before scowling and swinging his sitar at Axel's head. The pyro's quick thinking was the only thing that saved him from being decapitated. Again.

After the Wonderland incident, he promised himself that he would never lose his head ever again. It was hard enough to reattach it, and the taste of blood stayed in his mouth for days afterwords.

"I'm not! If anyone's a dumbass, it's gotta be you! I'm useful, you just keep moaning about that fact that Roxas isn't your 'bed-time buddy'!" Demyx said petulantly, still swinging Crystal (his sitar) around.

Axel's eyes narrowed, and soon enough his Chakrams (Butch and Spike) were being thrown across the room towards the water-enabled Nobody. He was pissed and out for blood.

"Really, you're useful? Who's the one that's afraid of their own element?" Demyx almost dropped his sitar in shock. How dare he bring that up? That was too low, even for Axel.

Well, nothing was really too low for Axel; that guy was like the king of sleaze. Still, Demyx thought that even he would have the decency to keep some secrets.

Obviously, he was wrong.

"You're such a... a... meany-face! That's probably why Roxas started dating Kairi; he didn't want to be around your sour demeanor!" The Melodious Nocturne was almost in tears now, whether they were tears of frustration, embarrassment, or what, was anyone's guess.

"Dammit Demyx, don't cry! If you cry, then you know what will happen to me. Suck it up I'll do anything, just don't-" Axel yelled frantically. He was rushing towards the other Nobody, but he was too late.

**_"KAIRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"_** Demyx wailed, almost breaking Axel's eardrums. Damn... he was in for it now, and there was no way he could get out of this one.

Ever since Kairi had started living at The Castle That Never Was, she had latched onto Demyx (or more accurately, Demyx latched onto her) like a child attached themselves to a puppy. Only unlike a child, Kairi had the ability to make his life a living hell.

Actually, so did small children now that Axel thought about it. But, Kairi had established herself as the overlord of the Organization.

She had defeated Mansex (who was now living in a cozy house in Halloween Town) to become the new Superior, and rearranged all the numbers of the Organization members. Axel was now number VI, Roxas remained XIII (because he liked his number dammit!), and Demyx remained number IX.

Kairi may have found it funny that he and Demyx were 69, but he sure as hell didn't. According to their new head honcho, Demyx and him were married too.

Yeah. Gay marriage wasn't even legal in any of the worlds, except Destiny Islands. Which makes sense, since that devil woman grew up there. Of course, she would make the Organization adopt their beliefs.

And the worst part of the whole Kairi thing? Roxas wouldn't do a thing to stop her. He was too goo-goo eyes over that girl to realize how much she was hurting the Organization, hurting him! Didn't their friendship mean anything to him? Hell, he even took Demyx's side half the time when they fought!

Maybe the molestation made Roxas change. Well, Axel had yelled surprise before he did anything, and therefore it wasn't rape so...

Hey, Roxas should feel lucky that he was touched by the great Flurry of the Dancing Flames. Not many people got that honor.

Axel flinched when he heard the tell-tale signs of footstep approaching the dining hall. It seemed that Kairi decided to bring the traitor with her, and Axel knew that was just going to make things worse for him.

Why were the worlds against him anyway, he was a good Nobody! Sure, he sinned every now and again, but he had given his life to save Sora.

Sora. The most ADD kid that ever existed. He had saved that kid from sure death, and in return he got a sadistic ginger, an awesome, but flighty best friend, and Demyx.

His wife.

God, it felt wrong to even think that. He hadn't touched the kid (no matter what anyone said, Demyx was a kid compared to him) since their "marriage", and it didn't seem like he would start anytime soon.

It would be like having relations with Goofy. Awkward, and weird as hell.

The door to the room opened with a crack, and soon the two Nobodies stilled. Demyx was still sniffling, and as soon as the figure in the doorway say that, it moved to cradle the large man-boy.

"Awww Demy, what did the big, bad Axel do?" Kairi cooed, glaring at Axel above Demyx's head. In response, Axel stuck his tongue out at her. Hearing a chuckle, Axel smiled. Roxas was on his side today.

"THAT STUPID HEAD CALLED ME A DUMBASS!" Demyx yelled, expecting to hear shouts of disapproval. What he was met with instead, was total silence.

"Guys? Guys! I'm not a dumbass! I'm not!" Demyx pitifully protested. "If I was a dumbass, would I have been able to steal that stone from the Underworld?"

Roxas scratched his head, a small smirk forming on his lips. "If I heard this correctly, didn't you leave the stone behind after getting beat up by Sora?" Both Kairi and Axel chuckled a little at Demyx's face, which had turned red in embarrassment.

"Yeah dumbass, I at least managed to accomplish all my missions." Axel said sprawling out. He ignored the snort that left Kairi's lips, and smirked at the blond on the floor.

Kairi helped Demyx onto a chair, before turning to Axel with her hands on her hips. "Axel, Demyx did accomplish that mission that day, didn't he? He was supposed to "use aggression to liberate" Sora's "true disposition". Didn't he do that? Hmmmmm?"

"Oh, and what mission were you talking about accomplishing? Was it the one where I sent you out to buy me some tampons, 'cause if it was then you failed that. I don't get the-"

"LALALALALALALALA IGNORING YOU!" Roxas yelled, plugging his ears with his fingers. He really didn't want to hear about his girlfriend's 'time of the month' needs. Turning away, he ventured to the kitchen in order to find some snacks, dragging Demyx along with him.

Axel's cheeks reddened minutely, before he turned and glared his most venomous glare at the other red-head. Hell no, she wasn't going there.

"No, the mission given to me by Mansex to kill Vexen, and monitor the goings on of Castle Oblivion. But hey, wouldn't expect you to know about that—LET GO OF MY NECK, LET GO OF MY NECK!" Axel yelled, struggling to get away from Kairi's iron clad grip.

Who knew that so much power was packed into such a small frame. Oh yeah, God did when he decided to screw Axel over.

"Now Axel, I know you weren't saying something demeaning about me, right? You remember how I told you about that point in your neck that can kill you, right? Now, what were you saying?" Kairi smirked, pushing down lightly on the pyro's neck.

"Man, you are so hot right now babe." Roxas said, coming back into the room with a bucket full of popcorn. Demyx was tailing behind him, armed with four different milkshakes. Passing one to Kairi, he plopped down next to Roxas and decided to try and enjoy the show.

He always did love watching Axel getting tortured. And when Kairi did it, it got just that much better.

"Dammit let me go!" Axel winced when he was unceremoniously thrown onto the floor. Damn... why couldn't he ever remember _not_ to piss Kairi off?

Because he was Axel, Kairi's official bitch. Everything he did just served to piss her off. Above him, Kairi was grinning, a mischievous look in her eye.

"You know, I think I have the perfect idea for proving just who is the dumbass of the Organization." Kairi turned to her boyfriend, and whispered into his ear.

Whatever she said must have been good, because Roxas's face lit up like a kid's face at Christmas. He was nodding ecstatically at Kairi, and looking between Demyx and Axel with a laughing look in his eyes.

Traitor. Whatever was going on, Axel wanted no part of this. He wasn't a dumbass, he was Axel; the most awesome member of Organization XIII. Picking himself off the floor, he moved for the door, only to be thrown, yet again, back on to the cool marble.

Damn woman. Did all the women that he knew have to make his life a living hell, or did they all just want to?

"Now Axel, it wouldn't be right for you to leave before hearing what we have planned, would it?" Roxas asked innocently. "We propose a competition, something to prove who is, The King."

"OOOOOOOH~! WHAT KIND OF COMPETITION, ROXY?"

Damn Demyx. All Axel wanted to do now, was to get to Port Royal, drink his ass off, and forget about everything. Was that too much to ask for?

"A competition where both of you have to perform tasks and such for us, like stealing things or defeating stuff. The one who completes the most wins, and is not the dumbass!"

Apparently, it was. But, now that he thought about, the hunt or whatever didn't seem too bad. It sounded like a pain, but he could get some pretty cool stuff out of this. Like rum.

"Um, we won't y'know... get hurt in this competition, will we?" Demyx asked, scratching his head and blushing. The kid was so innocent, for a Nobody at least.

"What's a competition without a little blood, sweat and tears? I'm in, I guess. Got it memorized?" Axel lazily said, ruffling Roxas's hair. As they say, old habits die hard.

"Oi, Axel. Pay up, dude." Kairi said, holding out her hand. After Kairi became the Superior, she had instated a policy that every time Axel said his catchphrase, he had to give her fifty munny.

Now, he wouldn't have enough to buy rum anyway, so he might as well play their game. Maybe Kairi wouldn't make him do anything embarrassing either.

Well, he could dream.

* * *

**A/N:** This was basically based on a dream I had. And my friends. Well, if you like it (or just want to talk about how OOC everyone is) leave a review. Flames will be used to improve the story, and fuel Demyx's lazer cannon.


	2. In Which Demyx Makes New Friends

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, there would have been a spell to turn Pete into a cross-dresser... EW BAD MENTAL IMAGES!

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Demyx strummed Crystal, wondering idly when Kairi and Roxas were going to be finished deciding on their events and stuff. He really wanted to prove, once and for all, that he wasn't a dumbass, he was just... special.

Or, at least that's what Kairi, Vexen, Lexy, and Xigbar said. Marly had said that he just had the blond curse, but if there was a curse on blonds, wouldn't Larxene be a dumbass?

Larxene was too clever and mean to be an idiot, he was always being really crafty, so maybe that meant he was a smart-ass? Well then again, Larxene wasn't really smart, just witty.

A while ago, Larxene had tried to include a girl with black hair into the Organization, right around Kairi became number I. Luckily, Kairi kicked that girl out of the Castle That Never Was, that Demyx swore he saw flames coming out her ass.

He was really happy that Kairi didn't let that girl in; having one girl was enough, they didn't need anymore!

Anyway, Larxene swore revenge on Kairi for not letting the girl, Xion, into the Organization. He had done the unspeakable, the forbidden, the most idiotic thing ever: messed with Kairi's make-up and hair products.

Demyx shuddered just thinking about the carnage that had come after that. It had taken three gallons of sea salt ice-cream, ten Asian drama dvds, and the promise that Axel would be her bitch for life in order for Kairi to calm down.

Speaking of the Flurry of the Dancing Flames, Axel was sitting across from him, smashing his head on the table repeatedly. Maybe he really didn't want to do this...

"Dammit Demyx, why couldn't you just admit to being a dumbass? Now, we have to go through all this bullsh-"

"Crap!" Demyx blurted, holding his ears. It wasn't that he never cursed, it was just that Axel was already in a whole mess of trouble, swearing was just make it worst. "And, I won't admit to things that aren't true, right _Husband~~_?"

Axel flinched, and for a second, Demyx felt bad. But then, all the crap that Axel had done to him over the years came flooding back into memory, and he pushed the guilt back. Payback was a bitch, and that bitch's name was Demyx.

Sad part is, he didn't want Axel to flinch, well not so much anyway. He knew that the pyro didn't like him, but that hurt. Was he really so unattractive? Did no one want him, except Xiggy?

"God-dammit Demyx, we are _not_ married! Why, oh why, would I marry you?" Axel asked. Thinking quickly, Demyx smiled and raised his finger.

"You're did it, because you know that in your heart-"

"For the last time, we do not have hearts!"

"We do too have hearts, don't be mad! You and I are married! So, start doing your husbandly duties, _Husband~~_" Demyx finished, his eyes twinkling in mirth.

Dear god he loved Kairi. She was officially the best Superior/friend ever. Since she joined the two of them in holy matrimony, Demyx was now given all the time in all the worlds to annoy Axel. Life was going to be good.

On the other, their marriage also gave Axel time to warm up to him. If they were gonna be married, and with no divorce possible (they should face, it wasn't like Kairi was gonna let them get divorced) the two of them should learn to get along.

Not because Demyx really wanted to or anything. No, not at all. He just wanted everything to be easier.

"And what exactly does 'husbandly- if that's even a word- duties' entail? Because if I have to put my hands on you for any purpose other than strangling you, it won't happen. Got it memorized?"

"Pay up Axel! Don't you dare think you don't have to pay just because you said it when I wasn't in the room!" Kairi said, waltzing into the room with Roxas tailing behind her.

Both of the blue-eyed youths clothes' were disheveled, and Roxas had lipstick smudged on his cheek. Axel suddenly grimaced when he saw Roxas's state (Demyx guessed some habits were hard to break.), and stuck his tongue out at Kairi before reaching for her munny.

As for Demyx? Demyx was slowly figuring out why Kairi and Roxas had taken so much time 'negotiating' what the things Axel and he needed to do.

And his innocence was ruined because of it. Shaking his head to clear it of any impure thoughts, Demyx tried to tune into what Roxas was saying.

"- and that's how Axel ruined sea-salt ice cream for me. Oh-kay! We have evenly distributed the items, with no bias," Roxas broke off to glare lightly at Kairi, who merely looked back chagrined, "and have reached an agreement! You'll each have one day to retrieve the each one of the items, and you have to go through the list with no skipping."

Roxas chuckled, and started passing out the lists to the other Nobodies. Looking his over, Demyx noticed how most of the items seemed rather...random. How was he supposed to understand these things...?

"You're just fuckin' with us, aren't you?" Axel bitterly asked. Demyx cringed a little, but wondered if perhaps Axel's list was worse than his.

Knowing Kairi...

"Kairi? Um, are we allowed to ask the other members of the Organization to help us out? Like, if I needed to, could I ask Roxas to cross-dress in order to get something?" Demyx asked.

Ignoring Roxas indignant squawk, Kairi merely looked puzzled. " I don't see why not, as long as they're not already on a mission, but... What thing on that list could possibly require Roxas wearing a dress?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see if he'd be up for it. Trust me Roxy, you'd enjoy the breeze between your knees. It's like air-conditioning for your junk!"

Roxas broke out laughing, before giving Demyx (who was confused about why Roxas was laughing) a high five. "And this, is why you're totally going to win this."

"Do you have absolutely no faith in me, Roxy? It's a sad day when you're best friend's girlfriend believes in you more than your actual best friend." Axel whined. Here they go again...

Roxas always did bring out the worst in Axel; whether it be anger, depression, mental instability, or pedophilia. He was one of the only people that made Axel feel at all.

Demyx was pretty sure that Kairi was another person too, even if the only emotions she evoked from Axel were angry and exasperated. Thinking about it, he was probably on that list too... maybe.

Annoyance was a feeling too, right?

"Now Axel, don't be a pansy. You guys should get going... you have to get that first item by the end of today. It's one of the easier ones, so you should have no problem." Roxas said, grabbing Kairi's hand and leading her away as she tried to stifle her giggles.

"Play nice, and don't get into too much trouble. Kairi and I are gonna be busy while you're away."

Demyx could hear Axel's groan even as he left for the Hundred Acre Woods. Before he left though, he wondered where Axel had to go.

* * *

Stepping out of the Dark Corridor, Demyx took out his list. Reading the first thing, he pondered how he was going to accomplish his Ninja Mission.

He wasn't known for being the smartest of the Nobodies in their Organization (And good thing too, Vexen and Zexion scared him.). What he lacked in brains though, he also lacked in brawn. But, what he lacked in brains and brawn, he made up for in personality.

_To the Hundred Acre Wood you venture,_

_To find the item needed for your adventure._

_As creatures go, this one is quite mass,_

_You need to steal the thing hanging from it's ass._

_-Have fun Demy-kins xD-_

So what was Demyx supposed to do with this? He understood the whole 'go to the story book' part, but the rest... he was up the creek without a paddle.

Well, technically if he was up the creek without a paddle, he just could use Crystal to steer and power him. But then, of course, she would get a large amounts of water damage and...

Ahem, back to the problem at hand.

Was he supposed to go around looking at everything's butt? How was he supposed to know what to do? He had never been to this world before. Sighing, Demyx looked around the pastel-colored world he had 'ventured' to.

He was in front of a modest house-tree, with many empty jugs surrounding it. Sticking his finger into one, Demyx was surprised to find out that it was honey.

Today was going to be a good day.

Demyx smiled and knocked on the door of the house, eager to meet and find the thing that would prove he wasn't a dumbass. Soon, the door opened, but Demyx couldn't see the person who opened it.

"Um, hello? Er... I'm looking for someone to help me out?" Demyx asked looking inside the house. Hearing a small sound, he looked down.

"Hi there Somebody-I-don't-know. Would you like to join me for lunch? I'm on my way to my friend's house, he always makes the best lunches."

A little teddy bear was talking to him. Now, Demyx had seen a lot of strange things, like a talking duck, but this was just surreal.

Blushing, Demyx struggled to respond. "T-That would be fun! My name's Demyx, got it memorized? I'm sorta new around here... do you think you could invite the rest of your friends too? It be totally awesome to meet you all!"

The yellow stuffed animal smiled at him, before closing the door and grabbing Demyx's hand. Startled, Demyx didn't even try to break the contact.

"I'm sure they would love that, Demyx. Meeting a new friend over lunch is always a welcomed thing. Hmmmm I wonder if Rabbit has any honey left..." The two of them were walking down a beaten path, passing another house-tree on their way.

"Er, if you don't mind me asking, what's your name? It's weird to talk to someone that you don't know." Demyx said, unconsciously licking his lips. Honey sounded good at the moment.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm Pooh Bear. And you know me Demyx, you're my friend." What? They had met five minutes ago, and Pooh already considered him a friend? It took him three months just to get Axel to look at him.

Maybe he should just move here.

The two friends soon entered a forest, and truth be told, Demyx felt a little uneasy. After living with Marly for so long, plants always seemed like they were watching him. Waiting for him to mess up.

Waiting to kill him.

"So... um, could you tell me about your other friends, Pooh?" Gathering information was one of the jobs that he did most of the time, and knowing stuff would only help him complete his mission.

Pooh continued to lead Demyx down the path, skipping as the trees started to thin. "Well, there is Piglet, Rabbit, Kanga, Roo, Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, and Gopher. Sora is another friend, but he's away right now. I'm sure you'll fit right in, Demyx."

Unless everyone else didn't have a heart too, Demyx was kinda screwed for the whole 'fitting in' thing.

"You say something, friend?" Crap, Demyx did that thing when he thought out loud again. He really needed to watch that.

It made him look too suspicious, and the first thing you learn in Ninja School is don't draw attention to yourself.

"Uh, no? Anyway, do any of your friends-"

"We're here! Demyx, this is Rabbit's house. He makes the best food, mostly because he grows it all. It helps to make me tummy less rumbly." Pooh said, running up to the door.

Well, Demyx would just have to meet everyone and find out what the clue meant. And if he got a free lunch out of it... well then life was good.

Inside the house, the animal posse was congregating around the well stocked table. There were so many different kinds of vegetables, that Demyx thought he actually had walked in on Marly's room. At one end of the table, there was an open chair and five honey pots, obviously Pooh's spot.

"Friends, I'd like you to meet Demyx. He's here to play with us." Pooh said, rubbing his stomach and making his way over to the sticky goodness.

In some ways, Pooh really reminded Demyx of himself. Laid back, cool, blond, food-loving, fun-loving; they were practically the same person. Minus the paws and fur. And Demyx was about three and a half feet taller.

"Hullo there Demyx, I'm Piglet. Any friend of Pooh's is a friend of mine." The small pink and purple animal thing said. Doing a once over on the creature and making sure it had nothing detachable on it's ass, Demyx smiled back.

"Thank you Pig-" Demyx was cut off by a large, bouncing orange blob knocking him onto the floor.

"Hey there buddy-boy! The name's Tigger, T-I-DOUBLE G-ER! Don't you dare forget it!" The tiger/cat creature yelled jovially.

Dear god, if the creature started saying "Got it memorized" the worlds would have another Axel on their hands. Tigger even sorta looked like him, with all the orange and black. He was a little gangly too, having skinny limbs. Tigger's tail was amazing too, but it wasn't hanging. It looked as if it was attached firmly to the cat's ass.

"Tigger, get off of him! You're making a mess in my house! I won't stand for this." The yellow rabbit said, scowling. As far as creative names went, Demyx was pretty sure that this was the Rabbit that Pooh had talked about earlier. He was large, but had not hanging thing on his butt.

"You must calm down Rabbit, Tigger was merely acting like himself."

"Yeah Rabbit, Tigger was just having fun!"

Turning his head, Demyx could see the pair of Kangaroos hopping towards the pair of them. One was large, and a clearly female, and the other was small and young, most likely her son.

The older one was, at least Demyx assumed it was (and you know what happens when you assume) Kanga, and she smiled sweetly before talking to Demyx again.

"I'm awfully sorry about that, Demyx. Sometimes Tigger does the thing that all Tiggers do second best; making a mess out of things." Demyx liked Kanga, she reminded him a lot of Kairi. She was sweet, kind, but had a certain maternal edge to her.

And the fact that she just reprimanded the Axel character had nothing to do with it. She was sorta cute too, in a weird way. If Demyx was a furry then...

Sad part is, she didn't have anything hanging from her rear end.

"It's fine Kanga... but if I may ask, what's the thing that Tiggers do best?" As soon as Demyx said those words, Tigger leaped off of him so quickly, it was almost unnatural.

"The wonderful thing about Tiggers, are that Tiggers are wonderful things! Tiggers can bounce much better than any other creature in the whole wide world!"

The orange cat was bouncing all around the house, causing tons of china dishes to fall and break. Rabbit was chasing after Tigger, trying to save his silverware and goods.

Guess Demyx was right about the tail being attached.

It was like Zexion trying prevent Axel and Roxas from destroying his vase collection. Sad to look at at.

"This always happens. I should have stayed at home and not be around all this ruckus. Nothing good ever comes out of it." Looking down, Demyx felt his eyes widen as he looked at the mini donkey.

Massive, check.

Tail hanging from it's ass, check.

Mission nearly accomplished.

"Hey there, it doesn't pay to look on the dark side all the time. Trust me, its not that cool, they don't have cookies or anything. By the way, what's your name?" Making friends with the little guy would make things easier.

He didn't want to fight with these guys. Already, he felt himself being happy in their presence, something that took forever for him at The World That Never Was. Plus, it didn't look like all these little furry creatures could pack a punch.

"I'm Eeyore. Nice to meet ya, Demyx." Eeyore said in his sad monotone. He felt like this creature was the Zexion of the group.

Demyx knew how Zexion thought, perhaps this wouldn't be too hard.

"Thanks Eeyore, it's nice to meet you too. Um, I couldn't help but notice your tail... it's very beautiful." God he sucked at lying.

"This old thing? I've had it for a long time, it keeps falling off though. I wish that I had something that I didn't always lost."

Chyeah! This was going to be easy, he just needed to give the guy something that would stay on his butt! How hard could that be?

"You know what Eeyore? I think I might have something that you could use. You can have my..." Looking around and patting down his body, Demyx finally came up with something he could use. "my silver chain. It's styling, and I can make it stick to your butt and never fall off!"

"Would you really? I don't know... I've had this tail for a long time... it'd be weird to let it go." Damn... he was making this hard! "Plus, I'd hate to put you out and take your thing."

"Oh this? I have tons of coats back at the Castle. I'm really more concerned about you. I'd like to make your life easier Eeyore, that's what friends do, right?"

If worse comes to worse, Demyx could just run away. He was good at that.

"If it's really alright with you... I guess that would be fine." SCORE!

Handing Eeyore his chain, and firmly attaching it to him, Demyx almost giggled in glee. Mission accomplished. This brought his total up to two, and he was so proud of himself. Today turned out great, he gained a whole bunch of friends, and got one step closer to being declared not a dumbass.

Keeping the tail in his grasp, Demyx said his goodbyes to the rest of the group, promising them he'd visit again soon. And he really thought he would.

Going back through the Dark Corridor, Demyx smiled; today was good. Hopefully, things weren't going this well for Axel though. That would make it so much better.

* * *

Axel smirked as he arrived at his destination. It seemed that today, Roxas really was on his side, the thing he had to accomplish proved it.

_I know sometimes you act like a lazy bum,_

_but all you gotta do it steal the Captain's rum._

_-Dood, how much more do you need?-_

He was now on board the Black Pearl, just waiting for the opportune moment to take the perpetually drunk Captain Jack Sparrow's drink of choice. He was usually good friends with Jack, the Captain being his drinking partner when he came to Port Royal, but he knew that the pirate was overprotective towards his alcohol.

Not that Axel could blame him; he was the same way.

Sneaking down to the where the rations were kept, Axel grinned. Demyx had to have a harder job than he did. Nothing could be easier than this. Nothing.

But knowing Kairi...

Shaking off that thought, Axel summoned a couple Dusks. Just to be on the safe side, he should steal _all _of the rum. Better safe than sorry.

And if he got to keep the extra, that was just the way the cookie crumbled.

After acquiring all of his booty, Axel opened up another Dark Corridor, his mission already done. He felt sorry for Demyx, having to do so much for such little motivation. Proving he wasn't a dumbass, sorry that was nearly impossible.

Demyx practically oozed that.

Chuckling, Axel made his way home and to Roxas and Kairi to drop off his item. And invite Roxas to help him get rid of the excess.

As he left, the Captain of the Black Pearl made his way down to the storeroom. He had some trouble sleeping, and Jack knew no better way to calm his nerves than rum. To his utter dismay though, his entire supply was gone.

"Bloody hell, why is the rum _always _gone?"

* * *

"Alright, let's see how you both did... Demyx, what happened to your coat?" Kairi asked, tilting her head to the left. "You totally threw off the look of the Organization."

"I made a trade! The tail for my chain... I thought that since I had so many coats, it wouldn't be that big of a deal!" Demyx said, grinning widely.

Kairi ruffled his hair with her hand, before wiping all the gel on her skirt. "You're so resourceful Dem! I knew you'd figure out my clue."

Roxas gave Axel a look, one that clearly said "I will set your balls on fire, if you didn't understand what the hell you needed to do." To say the least, Axel was a little bewildered. To say more, his eyebrows were buried in his red head.

"You did get the-"

"So little faith, Roxy. Of course I did, and I should really thank you for the wonderful prompt. It really helped me, and I was wondering if you wanted to share the spoils with me?"

"NO. _NO_. HELL NO. THE LAST TIME WE GOT DRUNK TOGETHER, I WOKE UP NAKED NEXT TO YOU, HUMILIATED, AND WITH GREEN HAIR. I DO NOT WISH TO REPEAT THAT."

"You wound me. C'mon it'd be a ton of fun-"

"Sleep with one eye open, Axel." Kairi said, wrapping herself around her boyfriend. "Why don't you and Demyx share the 'spoils' as you put it? Oh, and if you think that's a suggestion..." Kairi trailed off, summoning her keyblade, "You thought wrong."

Yeah, he was really intimidated by a small, scrawny, white chick with a flower stick. Axel was almost shaking in his leather boots from fright.

Screw her.

Well... drinking with Demyx. It wasn't like that could be too bad, right? At the very least, he would be so pissed, that he wouldn't remember how horrible and awkward it had been.

But, he would still have his revenge on Kairi.

* * *

**A/N: **Wow... this really became something that was just out there. It was like it had a mind of it's own! Anyways, please review if you enjoyed it. Flames will be used to improve the story, and help Kairi dry her hair. Because asking Axel to help out, would just result in pain and suffering for everyone.


	3. In Which There Is A Sing Along

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. At most, I own the game, the crappy card-game based sequel, KH2, the remake of the crappy card-game based sequel, 358/2, a couple of plushies, a poster or two, a cosplay outfit...

Dear god, this is like the definition of a fangirl isn't it e_e;

* * *

Fucking lights, and their fucking brightness, when Axel was just trying to fucking sleep. Why couldn't they just turn the fuck off, and leave him in fucking peace?

Blinking eyes open angrily, Axel sat up. His head was pounding, and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. Closing his eyes and falling back down, Axel yelped when he felt the cool, hard ground.

Where the hell was he?

Sitting back up, Axel took a desperate look around trying to understand what was going on. He was on the ground, his hair completely trashed, and hungover. The rankness in his breath and the headache pointed towards that anyway.

The weirdest thing? He wasn't alone. Axel was lying down next to Demyx, his body covering the blond's before Axel had sat up.

Dear god, why, oh why, did the worlds love to screw with him?

Looking around, Axel was confused to see green for as far as the eye could see. Hell, even the blueness of the sky seemed to have a greenish tint to it. Were they in Marluxia's garden or...?

An even better question would be how the hell they got here. Or why they were here. But, due to his obvious inebriation, Axel thought he was lucky that he was even awake.

Axel turned and looked cautiously at the bushes behind him. He thought that he had heard... Oh crap.

Springing out of the bushes were dozens of small monkeys, and all of them looked pissed at the Nobodies. And just by looking at those faces, memories from last night came flooding back to memory faster than Xigbar could teleport.

_"Now Axey, where are we gonna go? Chu said dat we were goin' somewhere."_

_"CHYEAH! We're gonna go haf some fun in da jungle!"_

_"...Why?"_

_"Why not? Fo sho', dis is gonna be da bomb!"_

_"Axey, chu're not black. Dat's Xemy. Wat are we gonna do in da jungle?"_

_"Quiet beetch. Do not quest'in da Pimp Masta!"_

_"Maybe chu've had too many drinks, Pimp Masta. Axey, is da jungle scary? Ay haf never been dere."_

_"It be danger'us for cute beetches like chu. Stick close to da Pimp Masta, Ay'll take care ov chu!"_

_"Really, Axey? Chu're such a good pimp!"_

_"Beetch puleaze. Don't Ay know it."_

_"Axey chu're so silly... WAT DA HELL ARE DOS THINGS?"_

_"Wat are chu talkin' 'bout... HOLY SHIT, MONKEYS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"_

_"AXEL DON'T LEAVE- DON'T TOUCH ME DEMON SPAWN! I'M A PURE PERSON, PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE!"_

_"Beetch be trippin'. Just gotta add a leetle fire n'..."_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Chu did _not_ just set me on fire."_

_"Sorry beetch. Let the Pimp Masta make dit all better."_

_"...Chu are so drunk."_

_"Quiet Beetch, got dit memorized?"_

_"What'ver chu say, Pimp Masta."_

Dear god, Axel was gonna throw up. Lighting the surrounding bushes on fire to make the monkeys disappear, Axel turned back to the slumbering Nobody.

If Demyx ever remembered what the hell they had done last night, he was ruined. Usually when Axel got drunk, it was with Roxas, and so he acted like a doofus with his friend, not the man he was married to.

But not really married to. Demyx was just a co-worker, one that he was forced (dear god, was he forced) to hang out with outside work. He did everything he could to annoy the kid, but this...

This would make him the laughing stock of the Organization if it got out. Kairi would make sure of it.

The only thing to do, was make sure that Demyx never remembered what went on last night.

Smirking minutely, Axel opened up a Corridor of Darkness. He was gonna head back to the castle, get cleaned up, and prepare for his mission of the day. Or, as he was calling it, 'The daily way for Kairi to make him wanna claw his eyes out.'

Dropping by Vexen's lab would probably be a good idea too, to get something for his hangover. Axel just had to make sure that Vexen wouldn't steal his DNA again, or freeze his semen or something.

It was amazing how often something like that happened at The World That Never Was. Well, it happened less frequently now that Kairi was in charge, but the memories still burned. Speaking of memories...

Axel turned and glared down at Demyx, smiling involuntarily when he saw the other Nobody sucking his thumb. He really was too innocent to function, almost Sora-like.

Kicking Demyx in the stomach, Axel opened another Corridor beneath the now awake man. Now, that was a good way to start the day.

Walking through his own portal grinning from ear to ear, Axel whistled as he landed in his room at the Castle. Maybe today wouldn't be as terrible as the pyro thought it would be.

Axel walked around his room, grabbing a new cloak and a towel before heading to the bathroom. He wanted to scrub all memories of last night off of him, and besides that, getting used to water wouldn't be a bad idea considering Axel's mission for today.

God dammit, there went his good mood. And, his head was hurting again. Brilliant. Freaking Brilliant.

After bathing and getting dressed, Axel opened his door and went across the hall to his old room, Number VIII. Luxord would surely be able to help him out with a hangover, the Briton spent the majority of his time hungover.

Luxord was also good for arranging strip poker games, rum deliveries, and going back in time to make sure that Axel didn't impregnate anyone. Which happened more times than Axel wanted to think about.

The blond Nobody didn't really seem to mind it when he bothered him though, but that just might be because he was too drunk to think. The one thing these days that really made Luxord happy, was now he had power over Demyx.

It was a glorious thing being higher in the food chain than that whiny, man-boy.

"Oi Luxord, open up. I need your help." Axel yelled, one hand banging on the door, and the other clutching his head.

A few moments later, a disheveled, nearly naked, and piss drunk Luxord emerged. Damn, hopefully everything was- "What the bloody hell do you want, Axel?"

"Someone didn't get enough sleep last night. Anyways, I need some of that hangover medicine you have."

"Is that all? Lord, here I thought it twas something important, like you got Belle pregnant on accident and needed me to reverse it before Beast killed you. Again." Luxord said smirking.

Axel scowled, but Luxord's smirk just grew. "Now, what are you willing to barter for the goods, Axel? Perhaps the-"

"You'll get that when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. As your Superior in the Organization, I demand that you hand over the goods." Axel said using his best 'leader' voice.

What followed, was a staring contest between the two Nobodies, that only ended because of Luxord's sigh. Opening his door wider, the older looking Nobody let Axel into his room.

Axel stayed near the door, while Luxord disappeared into the inner workings of his room, and Axel wasn't one to pry and go after him. Not with Luxord being drunk. Or Luxord.

"Give me a minute mate, oh and don't touch anything. It might bite you back." Luxord shouted from somewhere. It wasn't like Axel really needed to be told to mind his own god-damned business.

Still, he couldn't believe what Luxord had done to his room. There were clothes strewn about (which wasn't too different from how it was before), empty rum bottles (still similar) and women knickers' (totally different) everywhere, and the proud red walls that once showed his element, were replaced by the British flag painted everywhere.

Bloody git.

Luxord better hurry up and get him his freaking stuff or... Wait, was that Larxene's underwear? Grabbing a pair, Axel nearly barfed when on the tag of the panties Larxene's name was shown.

Maybe the rum just dulled Luxord's good judgement. Axel wouldn't put it past Larxene to take advantage of the other man too, it had happened before to much better people. Namely, himself.

"Here you go darling, now, kindly get the bloody hell out of my room. Oh, and good luck on your little game with Demyx. Kairi told me about it, and it sounds like you're having a smashing time-"

"Shut up, limey." Axel snapped, grabbing the medicine before exiting and slamming the door. Stupid freaking man, and his stupid freaking mouth, that never freaking shuts up.

Taking the medicine, Axel retired to his room, the competition fresh on his mind. He had almost managed to forget about that, until Luxord reminded him.

It seemed that Kairi was really gunning for him, as the the thing he needed to do today just plain cruel. Axel almost thought it was too cruel for her, but then again...

Axel took out the piece of paper, after collapsing onto his bed. Maybe he should just quit while he was ahead... but then again, his pride wouldn't let him do that... Sighing, Axel reread the note.

_Sometimes it's okay to be less than the best,_

_Life isn't meant to be a test._

_But here I am, speaking in jest,_

_You need to steal the thing on the mermaid's chest!_

_-Have fun, Bitch ;D-_

Today was going to end as it started, him hungover somewhere trying to forget the pain that Kairi and Roxas put him through. Hopefully, Demyx's was just as bad.

But, knowing Kairi...

Shaking his head, Axel stood up. Well, he might as well get this over with. If he did, then maybe Roxas would help him celebrate his success~~

Smiling blissfully, Axel opened a Corridor of Darkness. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, maybe it would all work out, maybe Roxas would admit they were more than friends...

Life might be good after all.

* * *

Demyx yelled, the feeling of falling and pain in his stomach waking him up. Dear god, what the hell was going on? He was sleeping, and then he remembered flames, screaming, and falling and...

Nothing. Damn, it was like Namine herself sucked all his memories out. Sitting up, Demyx realized that he was now in his room, meaning he wasn't in it before.

Well, unless that was all a dream before. Demyx did have a good imagination after all, very vivid and such, so it was possible that everything was just a dream.

But the pain in his stomach was real. It felt like all the air was forced out of him, and it was slowly crawling up his throat so that...

Getting up and running towards the bathroom, Demyx was relieved that he made it in time. Dear god, that couldn't just be from his stomach could it? Was he pregnant or..?

After cleaning up and bathing, Demyx returned to his bedroom feeling better. The pain in his stomach had faded, and he was actually feeling rather optimistic for the day. The competition briefly crossed his mind, but today Demyx felt like he could do it.

Roxas had given him the clue today (the wording and context of it proved it), so he already formed a plan to take care of it. One thing Demyx really liked about Roxas was that he didn't beat around the bush.

He'd much rather beat the bush.

Shaking off the feeling that he was forgetting something, Demyx grabbed Crystal and headed out to the dining room, starving for breakfast. He felt like he hadn't eaten in a year.

Walking in, Demyx was met with something that almost made him throw up again. Something so heinous, so horrible, and so disgusting, Demyx was surprised he hadn't passed out already.

Demyx had the great misfortune to walk in on Roxas cooking.

"Whatcha doing, Roxas?" Demyx asked treading carefully towards the other blond Nobody. The last time Roxas cooked, he had blown up the toaster.

He had been making ramen.

Roxas turned towards the water-enabled Nobody, scowling faintly. "Kairi wants breakfast in bed, so I'm making it for her. Do you know how long it takes for eggs to cook?"

Blanching, Demyx ran forward so quickly that Roxas almost dropped the pan he was holding. "You know what Roxas, why don't I cook for you? Just take a seat. Do you know how Kairi wants her eggs?"

Taking a seat at the table, Roxas looked confusedly back at the older Nobody. "... There's more than one way to make eggs?"

"Scrambled it is then." Demyx said with a smile. Grabbing some more eggs, milk, and butter, he turned back to the stove. "I'll make enough for the two of you. Do you want something else too, like bacon or...?"

Roxas looked back at Demyx, like he was a god or something. "Can you do all that without burning something?" At Demyx's patient nod, Roxas continued. "Er, she wants bacon and waffles too."

"From scratch, or are the microwave kind alright?"

"Er... whatever's easier. I hate to put you out like this-"

Demyx's interrupted with a light laugh, cracking a egg, and flipping some bacon in the process. "It's no problem at all. I like to cook, and, no offense or anything, but if you cooked, we might not have a kitchen anymore. Why are you looking at me like that?"

The look on Roxas's face could only be described as smug amusement. It was the kind of look that Demyx often got from the older members of the Organization after he did something stupid.

"It's nothing," Roxas began, smirking as Demyx relaxed, "you'd just make the best wife."

"W-W-What did you say?" Demyx almost screeched at the Key of Destiny. Being careful to turn off the burner and prepare two plates of food, Demyx turned and glared.

Roxas, for the most part, seemed like he was having a grand old time. He was smirking and looking like the cat the ate the canary, and then killed the dog. "You heard me."

"What makes you think I'd be a good wife? I'm not a woman, and I don't, er... have the right equipment." Demyx said, rearranging the food, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher.

"You can cook, you can clean, you listen to people, you're a pacifist, you've got a big heart-" Roxas listed, watching the other man turn red in embarrassment.

Shoving the food at Roxas's chest, Demyx did his best to look intimidating. "You've made your point. Here, hopefully this is good enough."

"It looks great Demyx, and I'm sure Kairi is expecting charred food, so this will be a nice surprise. Thanks." Roxas smiled, before heading to his bedroom. "Oh, and good luck today with the 'clue'."

After waving like a dork to Roxas's back, Demyx grabbed an apple and a Mountain Dew, before returning to his room. He might as well get the whole competition over with. Looking at his clue, he felt his smile widen.

_You need to grab the sketchbook of Naminé's_

… _Damn, nothing rhymes with Naminé._

_-C'mon, even you can get this one-_

Today was gonna be fun.

* * *

Axel shuddered as he felt the cool water of Atlantica all around him. Looking down at his changed form, he decided that he liked the flames adorning his fins, they made him look even more bad-ass.

Or as bad-ass as someone could look when their lower half was that of a fish.

The only crappy thing about his transformation, was that for some reason, Axel's hair hadn't retained it's usually spikey form underwater, and was now in his eyes.

He blamed Kairi.

Looking around where he landed, Axel was amazed at all the trinkets on the coral decorating the grotto. There were trophies, necklaces, music boxes, and statues (that he could only guess came to be under the sea from shipwrecks) everywhere.

It was actually pretty beautiful, not that Axel would ever say that.

"Like what you see?" A female voice asked from behind the Flurry of the Dancing Flames. Turning around and summoning his Chakrams, Axel calmed down when he saw a innocent woman with bright red hair.

Maybe they were related?

Axel looked at the woman (oh, was she a woman) without shame, taking in her appearance, and clothing. Across her torso was a tiny, purple, seashell bar.

Jackpot.

Smiling his most charming and sexy smile, Axel stared right into the girl's eyes. "Very much so. The name's Axel, A-X-E-L. Got it memorized? What's yours, cutie?"

The girl turned a delicious red color, almost as bright as her hair, and Axel had to admit that this was probably going to be a lot easier than he expected. It wasn't like she could fight him after he took it too, she looked so meek.

"I'm Ariel, and it's nice to meet you Axel. What brings you under the sea?" Ariel said, her cheeks still red.

"Me? I've got a mission that I'm on-"

"A mission? Like something having to do with the Heartless, and Nobodies?" Ariel interrupted, her eyes going wide in alarm. Jeez, looks like the little buggers had been everywhere.

Scratching the back of his head, Axel smirked at the other red-head. "No, nothing like that. But I'm guessing that if you know about those, you're a friend of Sora's? I'm one of his friends too."

Well, it wasn't a total lie. If giving your life for someone didn't make you friends, than there was something blatantly wrong with the worlds.

"A friend of Sora's? Well, if that's true, then you're a friend of mine. Is there anyway I can help you with your mission, Axel?" Ariel asked, smiling fondly at the thought of the spikey haired youth.

Maybe throwing around Sora's name could get him a lot more things than Ariel's top...

"Why yes, there is a way that you could help me, babe." Axel said sliding an arm around Ariel's shoulders. "My boss has sent me to grab a very important item, something that I see you have. If you could give it to me..." Axel trailed off, his hand pulling slightly on the seashell.

And then he was smacked in the face.

"You rotten pervert! I have a boyfriend you disgusting... disgusting... man!" Ariel fumed, slapping Axel in the face again. Well, he was wrong about her not being able to fight back.

Sheltering himself from the mermaid's blows, Axel was unable to stop the woman from swimming away. It seemed like he needed to actually have a plan to accomplish his quest.

Groaning, Axel swam after the woman, already cursing Kairi, Roxas, Demyx, and everything else. Hopefully, he could come up with something to salvage what happened.

Hopefully.

* * *

Demyx walked through Twilight Town with a cocky stance. He knew he would be able to get this mission over with, and pass it with flying colors. Naminé and him were tight.

The only thing they didn't agree about was her choice in boy-toys.

Setzer.

Did he even count as a male?

In Demyx's opinion even Seifer or Axel would have been a better choice. They, at least, acted like they had a pair. A pair of what, was the real question.

Walking up to the Old Mansion, Demyx waved at the Twilight Gang leaving the premise. Stopping Hayner, Demyx asked her why they all looked so distraught.

"It's Naminé! She isn't acting like herself, and when we went and asked her about it, she just told us to leave and that it wasn't any of our business. Maybe you can talk to her Demyx, you've known her longer than we have."

After assuring Hayner that he would take care of everything, Demyx entered the mansion with a new vigor. He was gonna make sure Naminé was alright, he owed it to her after he had been so useless in helping her at Castle Oblivion.

Demyx sighed and continued up the stairs towards the white room, willing himself not to think about back then. He felt so bad when Naminé had been forced to go throw away so much, and take all of Marluxia and Larxene's abuse, and he hadn't been able to do anything to help her.

He sorta failed her.

Demyx almost knocked on the door, only stopping when a quiet voice called for him to come in. The Melodious Nocturne smiled and pushed the door open, hoping to see a smile mimicking his.

"Hiya Naminé~! Wassup, darling?" Demyx asked, running over and hugging the smaller Nobody. "Everything alright in da hood?"

"Demyx, for the last time, Twilight Town is the whitest place in all the worlds. It is in no way, a 'hood'." Naminé said, both fondly and exasperatedly. "Timeless River I understand, but Twilight Town? There's no way."

Taking a seat at the long table, Demyx turned his head and started to admire the drawing on the walls. "There's something funky about the ice-cream and the whole Twilight Disciplinary Committee. If that's not a gang, then I don't know what is."

Smiling, Naminé took the seat opposite Demyx, and offered the other blonde some tea. "I can't fault you there, but that what I think gives the town some charm."

"Charm, fear in the hearts of countless people, same thing." Demyx replied cheekily, sipping his tea.

Naminé's laughter filled the air, and made Demyx grin widely. He always did like making Naminé laugh, it made him feel like he was giving her some sorta childhood. It did suck being created as a teenager.

"Anyway Nami, tell me. What's up? Hayner mentioned that you seemed down lately, and... Don't cry! Er... I didn't mean to make you cry." Demyx trailed off, getting up and wrapping his arms around the girl awkwardly. He wasn't used to comforting people.

The female Nobody leaned into the touch, and positioned her head onto Demyx's shoulder. Her sobs slowly ceased, until she was just hiccuping.

"I-I... Setzer broke up with me and... I've just been... He didn't tell me why... Demy..." Naminé made out before she collapsed in tears once again.

Now, Demyx wanted to go find that fruity-ass guy and rip him to shreds. No one had the right to make one of his best friends cry, no one.

Not to mention that he made a promise to protect Naminé, she was like his younger sister.

"It's alright, the dumbo doesn't know what he's missing. You're a fantastic girl Nami, and you know, if I was straight, I'd totally want to date you. Only that idiot would give you up."

Demyx's words seemed to calm Naminé down, and her tears ceased a few minutes later. Looking the other Nobody in the eye, Naminé kissed Demyx's cheek and whispered her thanks.

"No need to thank me, I'm only doing my job as awesome big brother!" Demyx exclaimed, striking a heroic pose. Naminé laughed shakily, and slowly climbed off the number IX.

Sitting back in her seat and wiping her eyes with her handkerchief, Naminé looked back at the other Nobody. "Maybe so, but it's nice for you to be there for me."

"I'm always here for you Naminé, even when I'm not actually physically here. I'm in your heart, and you know you can always call on me for anything." Demyx said, pointing at Naminé's heart.

"... You break out into cheesy Phil Collins music, and I'll take back anything nice I've ever said about you." Naminé deadpanned, watching Demyx deflate.

"You ruin all my fun. And if anything, it'd be David Bowie, Phil Collins sucks."

"That's my job, fun wrecker. Now Demyx, what is it that you wanted? You must have come here for a different reason." Naminé asked, taking out her sketchbook.

Demyx eyed the book with a calculated eye, knowing that he would be able to get it. "You know about that competition I told you about, the one between me and Axel?" At Naminé's nod, Demyx continued. "Well, one of the items I was told I needed to get, was your sketchbook."

Naminé looked at Demyx confusedly, before gesturing towards her sketches. "Any particular sketchbook they wanted? I have many different ones."

Shrugging his shoulders, Demyx stood up and grabbed the one that the blue-eyed Nobody had just taken out. "Naw, but this one should be fine. All it needs to be is... a … book..."

"Naminé, why are there naked sketches of me and Axel in here?" Demyx asked frantically, his entire face blushing. He wanted to tear his eyes away, but he just couldn't... it was like a train wreck.

The artist herself seemed to be blushing just as wildly as Demyx was, and her voice seemed coated with embarrassment. "It's just something I do to amuse myself Demy... don't be too mad!" Grabbing another sketchbook, Naminé threw it at the water Nobody. "Take this one, it should be clear of any of those... pictures."

"You just scared the crap outta me." Demyx said, throwing the other book back at the woman.

"Don't most woman?"

"Yeah, but that's beside the point."

"Whatever you say Dem-Dem." Naminé said smirking faintly, before turning somber. "You need to drop by more often, it gets very lonely around here."

Demyx smiled and hugged the little nobody, before opening a Corridor. "I don't know, it seemed to me that Hayner was pretty worried about you. Maybe you should be the one who gets out a little more."

And ignoring the sputtering and blushing Nobody, Demyx made his way through the portal, his mission accomplished.

* * *

Axel sighed as he saw the back of Ariel only a few feet away. Now would be his chance to put his grand plan into practice, and he only hoped it worked.

His pride wouldn't let him lost to Demyx.

"Hey Ariel, I wanna apologize for before, and tell you that there is a perfectly good excuse for why I did that." Axel began, looking (what he hoped was) sheepish.

"You're a dirty, nasty pervert and you have no self control?" Ariel asked, looking unamused and scornful at Axel. That wasn't true; Axel had self control, he just chose to ignore it.

"Yes, I mean no! That's not it at all." At seeing Ariel's disbelief, Axel continued. "I'm gay, I don't even like boobs! I just needed that so that Kairi doesn't kick my ass and Demyx wins this whole-"

"Demyx? Demyx needs my bra?" Ariel asked surprised. Wait, she knew Demyx?

"How do you know that idiot?" Axel asked, genuinely curious. It wasn't like Demyx to leave the castle often for non Organization business, and he didn't think that he had ever been assigned here.

Ariel smiled, and looked overjoyed in remembrance. "Demyx comes and performs in the musicals sometimes with us. He's Sebastian's favorite outsider. Are you his friend?"

Well, if it had something to do with music, Demyx would do anything. It didn't really surprise Axel that Ariel knew him from that.

"Uh yeah... I'm actually his husband." Axel said with a (forced) smile. Hey, when Sora didn't work, it seemed like dropping Demyx's name would get him the goods.

The mermaid seemed deep in though, before she grinned widely at him. "Since you married to Demyx, you can't be too bad. I'll tell you what Axel, I'll give you my bra on one condition. You sing a song with me."

Oh hell no. It was a well known fact that Axel couldn't sing for beans. Every time he tried, it sounded like a cat was being strangled by a can opener. Or, that's what Roxas told him at least.

But he needed to get that seashell item. If he didn't, than he faced losing this competition, and his pride just wouldn't allow him to lose to Demyx, the laughing stock of the Organization.

Hmmm, tough decisions. His pride versus his ability to hear...

"Well?" Ariel asked, looking smug.

"Deal. Just don't blame me when you see how horrible this idea is." Dear god, he really needed to work on the whole ego thing. It did nothing but get him into trouble.

"Alright, I'll give you some time to prepare, come talk to me when you're ready." Ariel said, swimming away, and towards the underwater castle. "Here, I'll leave you with this music."

Taking a calming breath, Axel tried to collect his thoughts. He leafed through the music, pausing a looking at the rhythm. The lyrics seemed to be alright for the most part, except the part at the end about finny fun...

And that was enough for him to regret his decision already. Why, oh why, didn't he just leave?

Knowing that now was as good a time as any to bring shame and embarrassment to his name, Axel swam over to Ariel. "Uh, I think I'm ready to try singing now."

"Oh~~ great! Come with me to the music hall! I know everyone can't wait to hear you!" Ariel squeeled, grabbing Axel and dragging him with her. Soon enough she stopped in a well lit room that seemed to be a bit like a ball-room.

"This is the music hall. It's where we perform most of our pieces." Ariel said, gesturing around. "Isn't it grand?"

"Yeah, it sure is something." Axel grumbled, sitting down on one of the open clam shells. The thing seemed to choke, but Axel didn't care enough to move. Ariel sent him a look, before her attention was stolen by a lobster and fish swimming up to her.

"Ariel, whatchu got 'ere? A new singer?" The crab thing asked in a thick Jamaican accent. Axel had seen a lot of things talk, but that thing took the cake. It's voice was just creepy.

"Yeah Sebastian, this is Axel. I thought we could start him on something easy." This song was supposed to be easy? Axel still didn't understand half of it! "So how about "Swim This Way"?"

Dear god, that's what the name of the song was? Axel knew that he was slowly losing any respect he once had for this world every minute that he had to be here.

"Alright 'ere we go!" The crab (Sebastian) said, before the music started. Well, here went everything. Axel just hoped he didn't screw up too badly. Ariel took his hand, and led him to the middle of the room. Apparently, they would be dancing too.

Dammit.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin_

Axel flinched when he heard his voice. It was all crackly, and off key, and he knew that the other creatures must be just as disturbed as him. But there was Ariel, still smiling/smirking at him. Seeing her, Axel took another breath and continued.

_Don't be shy_

_Let the music inside,_

_And dance, dance, dance!_

God kill him right now. Axel twirled Ariel, who was beside him, in time with the music, forcing himself not to leave afterwords. The only reason he succeeded, was because he was looking forward to Kairi's face after he got the item.

Axel could die happy after that.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin_

The fire-enabled Nobody gasped when Ariel started dragging him up. That woman really like to be authoritative, and Axel pitied the poor sap who was her boyfriend.

_See the sign?_

_Can you reach it in time_

_And tap, tap, tap?_

Ariel motioned for him to attack the very large and purple (why the hell was a clam purple?) shell. He was supposed to open it, supposedly.

Deciding to do it with more of a... _flare, _Axel summoned his Chakrams, tossed them out criss-cross, and watched as the shell was cut into four pieces. That's how you did it...

Aw crap, there had been someone inside it. And now, all that was left of him, was blood, and hunks of flesh.

Well, it was the mermaid's fault for not telling him about it. Axel needed someone to tell him if he was gonna do something that would result in bodily harm to someone. And then, he could choose to ignore that.

Both Ariel and Sebastian were looking horrified at Axel, but he just motioned for them to continue with the song. Since he had come this far, he might as well finish.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin_

Axel watched as the dolphins (who were probably not supposed to be doing what they were doing) started eating the meat in the water, and then swimming away quickly. They ended up near a old light, something that Ariel(who looked pretty pale) gestured for him to light after the next verse.

_It's all the same_

_If you have steady aim_

_Just zap, zap, zap! _

Pausing cockily, Axel snapped his fingers, and watched as the whole lamp was swallowed in flames. Sure, they may have been put out very quickly, but the bad-assness of it made up for it.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin _

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin_

It seemed like all the different sea creatures were taking turns dancing, and Axel didn't mind just kicking back and relaxing. That was, until Sebastian told him about the bubbles.

Axel hated bubbles. For no reason, he just hated them.

_Just a touch_

_'Cause it won't take too much_

_To pop, pop, pop!_

Swimming up to the bubbles with an evil grin, Axel ignored the song and started smashing the bubbles with his Chakrams. This, was fun. Maybe this whole singing thing wasn't too bad.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin _

Watching the band, Axel had to admit that they looked pretty freaking cool. Maybe he should start a band in the Organization, only not include the lame people, like Demyx, Kairi, or Larxene.

_Count him in_

_So he'll know to begin_

_To drum, drum, drum!_

And the octopus drummer was competent enough to do that on his own, what a shocker. It was like, he knew how to count music or something!

Axel hated this song.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin _

The Nobody and Ariel faced off towards each other, swimming forward for a move. They were supposed to hold hand and summer salt together. Fat chance.

Letting go off Ariel early, Axel grinned when he came out perfect, and she fell on her butt-er, fin. Smirking he began the next verse.

_Don't dilly-dally_

_It's your big finale _

_Sha-la-la!_

Axel sang, smiling and busting out some sweet moves. Let it never be said that Axel couldn't dance. He just, most of the time anyway, didn't want to.

Dancing was for squares and Demyx.

_Swim this way_

_We'll dance and we'll play, now_

_It's very easy, come on in_

_Just take a chance and shake a fin_

_Swim along_

_Just join in the song_

_A musical for everyone _

_To have a lot finny fun_

Axel finished, waving his hands grandly, and exaggeratedly. He was determined to go out with a bang. When the music stopped, he turned around to claim his prize.

"We had a deal Ariel, hand it over." Axel said, smirking at the mermaid's appearance. Apparently, falling didn't agree with her, her hair was a mess, and the item that Axel wanted, was slipping.

It didn't matter, that just made it easier to take off.

Ariel glared at Axel, before speaking. "I don't know what you did could be considered singing. You killed Twinkle!"

"With a name like Twinkle, his death was a blessing."

"And I won't take it off here, give me a minute." Ariel said fighting a laugh. She swam off in the direction of the castle, leaving Axel alone, underwater, with the smell of blood in the water.

It _was_ turning into a good day.

Soon enough, Ariel joined him, wearing a different top (Blue, which went so much better with her hair) and carrying her purple one. Axel wondered why she couldn't have just given him the blue one.

It would have made more sense. Ah, but Axel forgot, this was Atlantica, where singing was the law of the land, nothing made sense.

"Here. I would say you're welcome anytime," Ariel began, scowling and glaring at the other red-head, "but after what you've done, you're not. You're banished from Atlantica, never return here for as long as you shall live."

Damn, this was slowly turning out to be the second best day of his life, only second to the time both he and Roxas got drunk...

Memories...

"Whatever. Have a nice life, Ariel." Axel drawled, grabbing the bra and walking through a Corridor of Darkness to take him home. He was over this world, even if it hadn't been as bad as he thought it would be.

He just hoped that Roxas and Kairi would appreciate all the hard work he had gone through, and lay off him tonight.

* * *

Demyx wandered around the Grey Room, looking over his shoulder for anyone following him. His visit with Naminé was still fresh in his mind, and the images...

They just wouldn't leave him alone!

Pictures of Axel and him in intimate positions were permanently stained in his head, and everywhere Demyx looked, that's what he saw. Dear god, the next time he saw Axel, he wouldn't be able to-

"What's up Dem?" Axel asked, walking up behind the blond Nobody. Turning around, Demyx saw the Flurry of the Dancing Flames with his hair down, a first for him. The sight, of course, made Demyx blush to the tips of his mullet.

"Er...um.. Axel... why are you so wet?" Demyx asked, not looking the older man in the eyes. This behavior was so peculiar, that it only made Axel raise an eyebrow.

"My thing of the day had be going to Atlantica." Axel said, wringing his hair. "Ariel says hello by the way. If you don't mind me asking, how'd you two meet?"

Demyx looked away, still embarrassed about earlier. Now, all he had to do, was get Axel to leave him alone. "Er... we, uh, met over a mission about a year ago. She's ah... really nice. Very nice!"

"Really? She seemed like a real bitch to me."

"Um, don't most people act like a bitch to you?"

"Yeah, but that's just because they don't get my charm. Are you alright Demyx? I don't really care or anything, but Kairi will have my ass if you die or anything." Axel asked, moving to put his hand on Demyx's shoulder.

Demyx flinched, and moved away. This of course, only made Axel more insistent, a trait the Nobody was known for. When his hand actually brushed against Demyx's back, Demyx started freaking out.

"STOPPPPPPPPPP! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! THIS IS MY PRIVATE SQUARE, R-A-P-E! _KAIRIIIIIIIIIIIIII! RUN RUN AWAY!_" Demyx screamed, flailing. One of his arms hit Axel's eye, giving him time to run away from the number VI.

As Axel watched the blonde man run away, he thought about how unlucky life was, and how good Demyx had got at running.

* * *

**A/N:** Hehehehehehe... this was long. I always have this problem of wanting to do too much. Anyways, I dedicate this chapter to Lolerskatez, because she is the wind beneath my wings, the love in my life, the sugar in my coffee, the Power, to my Rangers.

Yeah, I went there.

Till next time, space-cadets~~


	4. In Which There Is Crossdressing

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts. I would have put a few Pokémon in there just for shits and giggles (Licensing rights be dammed ;D)

…

(I don't really mean that. Please don't sue me, Squeenix/Nintendo ^^")

* * *

Axel sighed, his frustration getting the best of him yet again. Now, that wasn't too difficult, since lately it was like he was frustrated all the time. Usually, for no apparent reason too.

Either it was directed towards Kairi, for making his life unbearable, Roxas for ignoring him, (something he didn't deserve) or Demyx for...

Being Demyx?

Or, was it for not being Demyx?

Recently, that was what seemed to be happening. It was like the blond had been switched with someone else, because the Demyx of late acted completely differently than he had before. Usually when the two of them were in a room together, they fought like cats and dogs (perfectly understandable considering their elemental attributes), but now... Demyx couldn't even look him in the eye.

Axel wouldn't usally care too much about his "husband", but since Demyx's actions were having a direct influence on him, he sorta needed to care. Besides, he enjoyed knowing someone's ticks and being able to make them react in a way that he wanted them to.

He was just a bitch like that. That was one of the things that he and Kairi had in common, the fact that they were both gigantic, manipulative bitches.

But now, the question was just what could have made Demyx act differently? Was it something that had happened on one of the missions (another reason to hate them) or not? Axel didn't like the fact that he had so little information; it always made his job so much harder.

"Are yoou thinking too much again? You know whenever you try and think you just hurt yourself more and more."

Axel sat up, his thoughts muddled by the appearance of his best friend. He could think about Demyx some other time (or not at all...), not when the rare chance to hang out with Roxas, alone, came up.

"Ah, I'm hurt Roxas, You know that I can think quite well, espeially about-"

"Having a nasty fantasy involving several intoxicated blond naked boys? Was that what you were going to say?" Roxas asked, smirking and taking a seat next to Axel on the couch. In his hand he held two Sea-Salt ice-creams.

When Axel saw that, he couldn't help but smile. Somethings never changed. "No, I was going to say that I... love ice-cream. Why would I possibly think about that?"

"Because you're a rotten pervert?"

"I am not! I'm a _sexy, awesome, amazing, smart, slightly handsie_, pervert. Got it memorized?"

"...Slash labradoodle."

"...I don't even wanna know."

Roxas stuck his tongue out at Axel, before finishing off his popsicle. Tossing the stick at the ginger's head, Roxas stole the rest of Axel's dessert out of the other's hand.

There was no such thing as too much Sea-Salt ice-cream. At least, not to Roxas.

"So mean~"

"It's part of my charm. Another part, is my ability to eat large amounts of food but never gain weight," Roxas deadpanned, finished with his sticky treat. "You think I'm kidding? If you get me some bowls of ramen, Mtn. Dew, and the cover of nightfall, you'll see what I mean."

"Ah, that reminds me of the time we went to Land of Dragons and you ate the entire military's supply of food. I've never seen Shang so pissed off before, and I walked in on him and Mulan doing it."

Roxas looked disgustedly at Axel, his mind betraying him and picturing what the older man had said. "You, my friend, are seriously twisted. Have you considered therapy?"

"Therapy. With a therapist. Did you know, that if you dissect the word "therapist", you get "the rapist"? No way I'm going to someone like that," Axel quipped, smiling despite his words. It felt nice to hear Roxas refer to him as his friend; he hadn't heard that in a while.

Feeling himself smile back at Axel, Roxas replied. "Why not? It just means you'll have something in common."

"Still haven't forgiven me for _that_?" Axel asked, his voice low and serious. He hadn't thought that Roxas had, but having it pushed into his face, just made it so much worse. He couldn't even look at the blond.

Which, was probably the stupidest thing he's ever not done. Because, Roxas didn't look angry or bitter like Axel thought, oh no, he looked surprised, like he hadn't expected Axel to say anything. Because to tell the truth, Roxas didn't even think about that.

"It's not that I haven't forgiven you, 'cause truth is, there's nothing to forgive. We were drunk, _both_ of us, and we can't be held responsible for our actions. Besides, it only happened once, right? No harm done. Don't beat yourself up about it, I don't."

Damn... Axel found himself yet again amazed at his best friend. He didn't... none of the Nobodies here deserved someone who was so understanding, and undeniably hot. Certainly not Kairi either. There was just one thing off about this...

"You know that little speech thing, proves without a doubt that you're Sora's Nobody, right?"

"Why? I'm so much cooler, I mean, I use two Keyblades all the time. How much more bad ass can you get?" Roxas griped. This was one of the few things that bothered him, being compared to Sora.

"The bad-assment of that is canceled out by your behavior though." Axel smirked. "I still can't believe how you acted with Naminé-"

"That was nothing!"

"You won't disappear Roxas, you'll be whole!" "I'll...disappear?" Yeah, that's really bad-ass. Let's not forget how competent both you and Sora are at computers."

Roxas huffed, and pushed Axel off the couch. "Like you're one to talk about lame lines. Remember what you said to Sora when he was just about to enter The World That Never Was? I was there, I remember."

Axel stood up, dusted himself off, and leered over Roxas's body. Roxas merely rolled his eyes, and pushed the other man away. The blond hurried off, probably to get more food, with the red-head at his heels.

"You know, you're just too mean to me. I wasn't even talking to Sora really, I was talking to you!" Axel protested, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

"So that's why you addressed Sora?"

"...Shush."

Laughing, Roxas grabbed some potato salad, and took a seat at the table in the kitchen. "So, what we're you thinking about earlier? It seemed that you were actually using that thing between your ears."

"What? No... it's nothing. Don't stress your pretty little head over it. It could be used for much better things," Axel wiggled his eyebrows, happy that he was able to deter Roxas from-

"No really, what were you thinking about? If you don't tell me, I'll just beat it out of you," Roxas said, scowling at what Axel had suggested.

Axel froze, his mind thinking of all the other times that Roxas had brutally mutilated him trying to get information. He had phantom pains just thinking about it...

"Er... it's Demyx. He's been avoiding me, and acting particularly weird. Like, weirder than usual," Axel said quickly, hoping that Roxas would just drop it. It was sort of embarrassing for Roxas to know that he actually thought about that pathetic, defenseless, irritating, kiddish, ridiculous hair-styled wearing man.

Roxas smirked, and in that moment, Axel knew he was screwed. Roxas only smirked when he knew something that was going to cause either pain, or embarrassment. And usually, it was directed towards Axel.

"You know, it might be because he saw all those porno pictures Naminé drew when he was picking up his last item for the competition."

…

Is this what Hell was like? Axel could feel his grip of reality slowly leaving him, and he felt Roxas's hand find his shoulder. On the Keyblade wielder's face, there was a concerned/amused expression that made Axel want to punch him.

"How...when...WHY?"

Axel almost broke down, the only thing holding him back, was the fact that he wouldn't cry in front of Roxas. Again. "How long have you known about this?" Axel asked angrily, turning to face Roxas.

Roxas merely shrugged, not finding what was going on so important anymore. "Naminé sends pictures of that to Kairi every so often. She seems to really like them too..."

Of course. Naminé _was_ Kairi's Nobody, it only made sense that they would share the same perverse humor.

"I need a drink..."

"You can't, it's like, eleven in the morning. Plus, you still have to do the competition thingy for today!"

"Screw the competition. Right now, I _need_ to be drunk off my ass. Not a want; a _need,_" Axel said, sighing and already moving to grab a couple rum bottles. Ah alcohol, how you solved all of life's problems. "Besides, it's five o'clock somewhere."

Shaking his head, Roxas grabbed one of the bottles too. "I know what you mean. I was like that after Kairi introduced the whips into the bedroom. It took at least three bottles for me to stop freaking out."

Axel needed a stronger drink.

* * *

Demyx stood in the hallway, staring at the door in front of him. The whole naked-pictures-of-Axel-and-him-making-out-and-doing-other-'things' was really getting to him lately, and he knew that this person was the only one who could help him get over it. This person knew how to deal with more disturbing things than anyone he knew, anyone in the entire Organization, maybe even all the worlds combined!

Knocking on the door, Demyx took a deep breath, worried about what he was going to see. Some people never made it out alive from where he was going.

Slowly, the door opened, unveiling the man behind the door.

"Hey Xiggy..."

"Hiya Demy, you wanna come in? I just finished watching this video about these two cats fighting each other on a turtle, and for some reason, it reminded me of you!" Xigbar grinned, making Demyx very afraid.

Well, more afraid of Xigbar than he usually was. "Um... sure? I kinda needed to talk to you about something. I was hoping you could help me out- what's that thing!"

Demyx broke off, looking terrified at the thing hidden under Xigbar's bed. It was long, black, and there was a tag on it that he almost could read-

"Oh that...it's nothing. Nothing important, or is now. It all depends on how long you're planning on staying in the casa de Xig-master! Er...What did you wanna talk to me 'bout?" Xigbar asked, kicking the thing farther beneath his bed.

Demyx shook his head, and sent Xigbar an uneasy smile. You could count on Xigbar to be a freak, but even this was being sorta too much for Demyx. "Yeah, it all started with Naminé's pictures..."

"Hey Demy, you want a popsicle?" Xigbar interjected, showing off a creamsicle. Choosing to ignore asking why the eye-patch wearing man had a dessert in his room, Demyx took the treat.

"Uh... thanks." Demyx said, sucking on the pop, stopping only when Xigbar groaned. That was...that was kinda creepy. "Um, you okay Xiggy?"

"Uh yeah... just continue with your story. And keep sucking," Xigbar hoarsely said. "Naminé did something...?"

Yeah... Demyx didn't know how much more creepiness he could take, but his need for advice overtook his creep-o-meter. "Well yeah, she drew these pictures of me and Axel..."

"SUCK DAMMIT. WHY AREN'T YOU SUCKING!"

Demyx jumped, startled by Xigbar's explosion. Looking into the other man's eye, Demyx saw something that freaked him out so much, he opened a portal and left the other's room as quickly as physically possible. As he left, Xigbar cursed his impatient nature and reached beneath his bed.

"I guess it's just you and me again tonight, Jim."

* * *

"You see, I don't know why I didn't just come here in the first place. It would have saved me from having to get mental help, and it would have solved my problems. Can you ever forgive me for not coming here first?"

Kairi closed her magazine, looking into the eyes of the addled, and scared boy in front of her. When she had seen the man running and crying, she had taken him into her chambers, intent on finding out what had happened.

And then, she learned what had happened. And she was pissed.

She wasn't pissed at Xigbar, or Naminé (those pictures were sacred!), she was pissed at Demyx for not coming to her immediately. Man, she was the Superior for a reason!

"Demy... why didn't you come to me? There must have been a reason."

"I was too embarrassed. I mean... WE WERE NAKED!" Demyx screeched, his hands running through his hair almost manically.

Kairi sighed, knowing that Demyx was close to having yet another mental breakdown. "Why were you embarrassed? Was it because you secretly enjoyed those images? It's only natural to be sexually frustrated in your situation, I mean, you're not getting _any_!"

Demyx's face had grown progressively redder while Kairi was talking, and now, it was so red that Kairi thought he was going to explode. But, she was having way to much fun with it to stop now.

"Are you alright Demyx? I think what you need to do, is just talk to Axel about what happened. It's the only way anything would get settled, and those picture would become more than just two dimensional. If you know what I mean."

"Dear god! I-I-I'm gonna leave now. Er... big things to do today. The whole treasure hunt and stuff. B-Bye for now Kairi!" Demyx fumbled with the door, before just screwing it and opening another Dark Corridor. As he left, the Melodious Nocturne heard Kairi's giggles follow him.

Or maybe, he was just hearing things again.

* * *

Axel groaned and chugged the last of his fifth drink, hoping that the alcohol would numb is brain into not thinking anymore. If he could say so himself, it was working fairly well.

Or as well as alcohol ever worked with this particular problem. Axel was pretty sure that by now, at least half his brain cells because of alcohol poisoning. The other half had been killed because of too much Asian porn.

By now, he was drinking alone. Roxas, in a feat that showed off his super lightweight powers, had passed out between his third and fourth drink, right after the blond had finished his second.

Axel was actually pretty proud of his little blond buddy, he had actually drank more than ever, before passing out. And Roxas wondered why he was considered such a easy target for various pranks.

Since Axel was such a spectacular friend, he had carried the other to his room, without doing anything inappropriate.

He deserved a medal. A large, shiny, medal. A medal so shiny and flashy, that it had the power to knock him out, and then turn itself into a comfy bed, so when he passed out, he wasn't in pain.

Because, despite what Roxas and Kairi thought, he didn't like pain.

Axel snorted, amused by what weird thoughts his drunken mind had conjured. On one hand, he was happy that there was at least something that was preventing him from focusing on what was going on with Dem- STOP!

There was no way that Axel was going to go there. For one thing, he wasn't nearly drunk/suicidal enough to think, or do anything about the situation that he and the other Nobody were involved with.

What the Flurry of the Dancing Flames needed, was something so ridiculously stupid, incredibly mad, and perilously dangerous, that his undivided attention would be needed in order to accomplish it.

And this was why he was sometimes happy that he worked for a crazy woman that loved to see him in pain and agony, who thrived on his anguish in order to be amused. Kairi always managed to get his mind off things, and this competition that she thought up would do exactly that.

Grabbing another rum bottle, Axel opened his "list", grinning slightly at the clue that Roxas left him. Roxas always took his mind off things, albeit, he often led it to a darker, and much more horrible place, but...

_Today's the day that will top all,_

_'Cause you get to steal some guy's blue ball._

_-Yeah, I don't even know where this came from-_

Axel's just hoped that the ball that he had to steal from Wakka, didn't have a dance partner (yes, Axel felt quite witty for that line). Feeling that he wouldn't be able to do this sober anyway, Axel opened his Dark Corridor and strode into the cool waters of Destiny Island.

Why was it always water? First it was Port Royal, then Atlantic, and now Destiny Islands. What, was Kairi trying to drown him or something?

Ah shit.

Looking at the amazing view before him, the red-head severely hoped that during his "mission", he didn't run into a certain dumbass brunet, or emoish gray-head. Those two would just make his life that much more difficult.

Riku, the emo brat that he was, always tried to convince Axel that his hair was silver, but Axel always called BS. His hair was gray, a normal hair color. The only way that silver could be considered a hair color, was by genetic engineering. Aka Sephiroth.

And everyone just agreed to what Sephiroth said anyway. He was just that freaking crazy.

Now, Axel had never been to Destiny Island before, but he had seen enough of Kairi's photos to know his way around. Sometimes, Axel really hated Kairi. Other times, he desperately hated her. It was a vicious, horrible circle.

Turning to the beach that he knew that Wakka liked to practice "blitzball" (No, Axel did _not_ consider that excuse for water soccer a sport!), Axel walked with the grace of a man who knew how to accomplish his goals.

Because he had a plan. A bad one, but still, a plan.

The red-head was going to corner the Islander, and ask nicely for the ball. And if that failed, Axel would just beat the living crap outta the other man until he got the ball. After all, how much damage could someone do with a blitzball? It sounded ridiculous to even fight with that thing.

Wakka would most likely be alone too, and that would make Axel's goal that much easier. Tidus, the other's best friend, had moved away with his girlfriend, Yuna, to the Underworld with Rikku and Auron nearly a month ago. The other man from Spira had been left behind, with only Sora, Riku, and Selphie to talk to.

Half of Axel felt bad for Wakka (because no one should be submitted to _that_), but his other half was too drunk to care/function. So, deciding that had had the correct idea, Axel set off to find the Spira native.

He did need the other man's ball after all.

* * *

Demyx shifted, unsure how he had managed to get himself into this situation. He had only gone off, intent on fulfilling his super-awesome-secret mission, and had ended up like this. It was almost pathetic how easily Demyx could get himself into trouble.

His clue had been fairly straightforward, or as straightforward as Kairi could be. Even in her mission reports, she rhymed things and some of the members (namely himself and Roxas) had trouble understanding what she needed them to do. His clue, was one that he had a good feeling about though. Reflecting back, Demyx thought maybe he should have been more careful.

_You have charm and looks,_

_Though you lack what's in books._

_You need luck like a drug,_

_But you can find that in a bug!_

_-Use your head Demyx, you can do it!=P-_

And, armed with that knowledge, Demyx had set out for the Land of Dragons after being tortured by Kairi. He had hoped to accomplish this fairly quickly, in the hopes of getting some actual advice from someone in the Organization.

He should have known better. Whenever Kairi, himself, and lands with different customs were concerned, there was a definite chance that Demyx would get hurt.

So now here he was, being poked in the side by a spear by angry men who were speaking in some sorta different language (Spanish?), and being driven towards some village.

The men were looking at him in a variety of ways; some angry (he knew those from Marly), fearfully (that's how he looked at Larxene!), and some lustfully (that's how Xigbar looked at... well, everything.). It was so weird, that Demyx wasn't sure how to respond to them.

OW! Being poked in the side hurt! Demyx thought he was pretty lucky that it was still early in the day, and he could see everything was happening. He could see the men leading him to the the village gate.

Demyx noticed that he was given different looks than before, The looks he was getting now were scornful, distrustful looks. He wondered what had happened to this village to make the inhabitants so wary to strangers.

One man stepped out from behind him, and started leading Demyx to one of the woman that had been following him. The man seemed to take care in handling Demyx, something that was puzzling since they were poking him with sharp spears before.

Turning to the woman, the guard spoke, finally in a language that Demyx understood. "Wu-Li, take her to the Matchmaker. She will be safe there." And with that, the man returned to his peers, leaving Demyx with the woman, Wu-Li.

…

Wait, did he just call him a girl? Demyx blushed, both with anger and embarrassment. He was not feminine, at all, that was Axel and those god-forsaken hips! He wasn't a girl, he just wasn't! Hell, his hair was manly! As if to emphasize his thought, Demyx's hair went to his hair, only to realize that it had fallen from it's usually gelled state.

God, he probably did look like a girl with his hair down. Looking at the other woman, Demyx was surprised to to see an understanding look in her eye. Taking his hand, Wu-Li started to dainty, but firmly lead him towards something else.

What was with people leading him places today?

"I am Chan Wu-Li, and I shall help you for as long as you stay in our quaint village. It is my honor to help you," Wu-Li said softly, bowing her head a little. "They say that you were found in the hills, alone. Are you harmed?"

Furrowing his brow, Demyx stared back at the woman. She acted so weird... "Er... No, I'm fine. Thanks for your help, Wu-Li. My name's Demyx, it's nice to meetcha!" Demyx grinned back at the woman, holding his other hand (the one not being crushed in her death lock) out for her to shake.

Wu-Li merely looked at the hand, wrinkled her nose and smiled uneasily back at Demyx. Feeling foolish, Demyx retracted his hand. It wasn't his fault he didn't understand what the hell was up here.

"It is my honor to meet you too Demyx," Wu-Li began, pulling Demyx hastily. "I am bringing you to the Matchmaker, she will make sure that you will be taken care of. Perhaps she might even find you a husband here so that you may bring honor to your family."

Wait, another marriage? Now, Demyx was pretty sure that being married to more than one person was illegal (except in Agrabah), so he wasn't so sure if he was kosher with this whole "Matchmaker" deal.

As the pair came up on a large house, Demyx spoke up. "Um Wu-Li, I'm not so sure that marrying is the best way to bring honor to my family. See, I'm Jewish so-"

"Jewish? What is that? I'm not familiar with which part of China that is from," Wu-Li asked, tipping her head to side. Demyx had a feeling that this woman expressed all emotion through head movements.

"That's because Judaism didn't originate in China, it actually was started in-"

"_Everything_ is from China. We are here Demyx; welcome to the home of the Matchmaker. May your time here be used to bring honor to your family." And with that, Wu-Li left Demyx, alone, in the middle of a unknown world.

Still...it was better than being stuck in a room with Xigbar.

* * *

Sneaking up on the Wakka was easier than Axel would have thought, and truth be told, he was sorta upset by that. Maybe he had built up this whole experience, and it was going to be much easier than he realized...

"Eh? Whatchu doing 'ere, brudda?" Wakka asked, scratching his head and staring at Axel. Freezing, Axel took back his thoughts.

He needed to be drunk to listen to Wakka and not hurt the man beyond recognition. Rubbing his temples, Axel spoke, hoping to dear god that he didn't have to kill the other man. The Nobody already respected the other so much, and he didn't wanna have to do something he'd regret later.

Anyone who grew up with Kairi and was a functioning member of society had his respect.

"Yeah, I need your ball."

"What, brudda? I think I'm 'earing you wrong. You want my balls?"

"Not like that! Your blitzball!" Axel yelled exasperated. There was now way that he would go after a dumb-ass like Wakka. He had a thing for blonds, not Rangas. "Hey, I'll even pay you for it."

Wakka looked at Axel, sorta like a mad-man who just said that he had explosives in his pants. It was a look that Axel often got, only usually it was from Roxas after he had done something truly horrible. Like tell Kairi she looked fat in her new dress.

He still had the flower-shaped scars from that day. Axel usually reflected on them with pride at being able to survive a crazy Kairi attack. Not many people could say that they did the same.

"...You remind me a bit of Chappu...hmmm," Wakka muttered, clutching his blitzball. Axel was pretty sure that he wasn't supposed to hear that, but god-damnit maybe the alcohol was giving him super-hearing or something.

Feeling brave, Axel softly started speaking. "Whose Chappu, an old friend of your's?"

"Naw... my baby brother. You remind me a bit of him, I mean we both have the flaming red hair," Wakka chuckled bitterly. "I lost him before I lost our world. It was the probably the saddest day of my life, brudda."

"...I'm sorry did you just say we look alike? 'Cause we don't. I look like sexy personified, and you... you look like the forgotten Weasley child, Cowlick," Axel said, not caring if he sounded insensitive. To be truthful, he didn't care about Wakka's problems, all he cared about was getting the blue ball.

But boy, was he surprised when the ball was chucked so hard and quickly at his face, that Axel didn't have time to dodge it. He didn't think that Wakka would attack him.

Obviously, he was wrong.

"You think it's funny? I'll show you what's funny, brudda!" Wakka snarled, chucking his blitzball at Axel again. This time, Axel saw it coming though, and parried. Throwing one of Chakrams at the ball, Axel managed to divert it away from him. Amazingly though, it just went straight back to Wakka's hands. It was almost like it was some sort of heat seeking missile...

After watching Wakka chuck his ball again, Axel blocked it with one Chakram, and threw the other in the other man's direction. His Chakram pierced Wakka's clothing, and nailed him to the wood-work behind him. The Islander couldn't move either, or risk cutting himself on the spikes of Axel's Chakram.

If Wakka had made his blitzball spikey, he might have won this battle, but lucky for Axel, the other red-head hadn't.

Heh, Wakka was still better than half of Axel's fellow Organization members though. The volley-ball man fought better than Zexion did on a good day. Hell, he even looked more threatening than half the other Organization members. His hair was definitely more terrifying than Marluxia's.

Walking cockily over to the defeated man, Axel put on his best smirk, and spoke in his smuggest voice. "You're right, this predicament is pretty funny." Picking up the discarded blitzball, Axel grabbed it and looked again at the other man. "It was nice meeting you. I'll just be taking my little friend here and-"

"Wait! I just... please don't... I just have... there's no one here but me. Please stay," Wakka said, looking anywhere but Axel's face. Sighing, Axel shook his head. He knew what it was like to be ditched by your best-friend for a girl, and by god, it wasn't easy.

Offering his hand, Axel looked Wakka in the eye. The man was older than he seemed, and by what little information he had learned earlier, had seen to much in his lifetime. They would get along just fine, he was sure.

"Fine, on one condition though."

"Anything! Er... just got one question for you, what's your name, brudda?"

"My name? I'm Axel, A-X-E-L, got it memorized? Now, you got any beer?"

* * *

"Do you swear to bring your family honor, Demyx?" The Matchmaker asked snootily, looking Demyx over. The Nobody felt like he was a slab of meat on sale, and the Matchmaker was a hungry wolf. It made every fiber of Demyx's being tell him to run far, far away from this place and never look back.

But he couldn't. Meeting the Matchmaker's eye, Demyx stood straight, and tried his best to look regal. "Er... It would be my honor to do so Ma'am, but I don't really have a family-"

"Did the Huns get to your family?"

"...Who? No, I... I can't remember anything. I think I've lost my memory." Demyx said, scratching his head. "Can you say bummer? OW!"

Rubbing his head, Demyx angrily glared at the Matchmaker. Why did she just hit him? It wasn't like he did anything _wrong, _he just said that he lost his memory (a pretty sweet lie if you ask Demyx). Shouldn't he get sympathy?

"Losing your family is a terrible occurrence. I hope that you are able to revenge your family and bring honor to your name, and I shall do whatever in my power to help you. Allow me the honor of finding you a husband, Demyx." The Matchmaker solemnly asked, bowing her head.

Oh.

Damn.

This was not going to end well.

Demyx blinked, and felt the beginnings of a blush invade his cheeks. Now, Demyx didn't really have any qualms about being married to another man (he was married to _Axel_ for God's sake, aka the most obscene and annoying man known to humans...er...Nobodies), but to be tied down to two men at the same time...that was just asking for trouble. Plus, Kairi would probably have his ass for marrying someone and not having her be his maid of honor.

Again.

"Uh, as..._nice_ as that sounds, I already have a husb-" Demyx began, before the large and intimidating prescence of the Matchmaker made his close his mouth. Somehow, Demyx didn't think that was what she wanted to hear.

"Demyx, I'm sure that the Huns did some horrible things to you," The Matchmaker said gently, but firmly, "but a husband can help you readjust back into society, and bring honor to yourself. Whatever monster you married, a priest or the Emperor could cancel that union," The woman leaned forward slightly, and brushed some of hair out of Demyx's eyes, all the while smiling softly at him. "Allow me the honor of helping you."

Now, it just wouldn't be human of Demyx to deny her, right? He really had no choice, right?

Demyx smiled back at the Matchmaker, and took her hand. Maybe... Maybe this would be fun. "Um...just what does matchmaking entail? Just so you know, I don't like leaving my hair down like this all the time, so if that was part of your plan- OW. Why do you keep hitting me?"

"Because you keep dishonoring yourself. Now please, come along with me, and we will get you fitted and made into the perfect bride, someone worthy of bringing honor to us all." The Matchmaker glared, and Demyx was sure that she was hoping that she could burn a hole in his head.

She wouldn't be the first person, nor would she be the last, to try that.

"Now come, I shall run a bath for you-"

"You know, I think I can bathe myself. I'm er... ashamed of the scars that the Mongols left on me... yeah! I think they might... bring dishonor...to myself?" Demyx asked, trying to judge if what he was saying was working through the Matchmaker's expressions.

It was just his luck that the woman was as hard to read as Braille. Or Saix after a full moon.

"Hmmm...," The Matchmaker tsked, looking Demyx up and down. "I suppose being conscientious about whether or not you're bringing honor to yourself is important. Go right ahead, Demyx."

"Chyeah!" Demyx yelled, punching the air. Ignoring the look that the small woman was giving him, the blond raced off to the bathroom (or wooden tub in the middle of a room if he was being blunt), ready to beautify himself.

He was gonna show the world that you didn't need to be a woman to be the most kick ass bride ever! Turning the nozzle on, Demyx patiently waited for the water to fill the tub. Removing his cloak, Demyx lowered himself into the water when the water was at the top of the tub. It felt nice to have a bath, especially after what he'd gone throw today.

Because after being with Xigbar and Mexicans, your day was guaranteed to be the worst day ever.

After cleaning himself off, grabbing a towel, and covering himself, Demyx was alarmed to the fact that he hadn't any clothes to change into. Looking around, the Nobody was confused that the only thing he could find was a plain white robe-dress thing.

"Better than walking around and having that crazy woman see my manly bits and think that I'm "dishonoring" her." Demyx muttered, putting the robe on and tying it.

Walking back into the room where he left the Matchmaker, Demyx was greeted by the sight of two other old-er, charming ladies. Great, the day was getting even better.

"These ladies will take care of your hair Demyx," The Matchmaker said, smiling innocently at the blond. "Please bring honor to yourself by cooperating with them."

"Wait and see, when we're through~" One of the ladies sang, grabbing a comb and part of Demyx's hair and began stroking through it with such vigor, that Demyx thought his head would fall off.

The other woman, not to be outdone, grabbed the other half of Demyx's hair and starting singing as well. "Boys will gladly go to war for you~"

"With good fortune-"

"And a great hair do~" The women sang, tying Demyx's hair up in a bun. The ribbon holding the hair was a red one, greatly accentuating Demyx's blue eyes.

"YOU'LL BRING HONOR TO US ALL~" The women finished, leaving the room as quickly as they entered, leaving Demyx puzzled and slightly concerned. Spontaneously breaking out in song wasn't contagious, was it?

"Come along Demyx, we still have much to do in order for you to find a husband." The Matchmaker's voice commanded, and without faulting, Demyx followed the sound of it.

Finally catching up with the other, Demyx sighed and grabbed her hand. "Um...Matchmaker? Is all this necessary in order to bring honor or whatever?" The stare that Demyx received almost made him pee his pants-er, robe.

Almost? Hell, Demyx did soil himself.

"Of course it is necessary, Demyx! Don't you want honor?" The Matchmaker asked, her eyes blazing with anger. Damn, maybe this whole thing had been a bad idea...

Nodding out of fear, Demyx exhaled when the Matchmaker turned around and started leading him to another building across the yard. Maybe there he'd meet some people who weren't crazy.

In China, that was asking for a lot.

"Demyx," the Matchmaker said, her voice as strict as steel. "Let these fine ladies tend to your wardrobe. In order to find a suitable match, you must dress with honor."

"You know, I think that this robe thing is just fine. It gives me a nice breeze and-"

"Do you wish to be hit again?"

"No ma'am." Demyx answered with a shudder. For such a small woman, the Matchmaker sure knew how to hit. He suppose it was something you learned with age...

Or by not being a pansy like himself.

"Men want girls with good taste~" Great, another freaking song. Demyx just hoped that this one would make a little bit more sense. He'd have to give it to these ladies though... they sure could carry a tune really well. It reminded him a bit of Atlantica actually...

"Calm-"

"Obedient-"

"Who work fast paced." Wow, the women seemed like the had sung this song many times before. Demyx wondered if being a matchmaker was lonely. The woman began draping fabric all over his body, in a variety of colors. Just off the top of his head, Demyx saw pink, blue, red, purple, and gold.

"With good breeding-"

"And a tiny waist!" Dear god, why did they have to pull on the scraps of fabric?It was like he couldn't breathe! He could pass out at any moment, and it was only then that Demyx truly felt sorry for every woman that he knew.

This pain had to be considered torture.

"YOU'LL BRING HONOR TO US ALL~"

Slowly walking away from the screaming women, Demyx found himself being dragged (yet again?) by the Matchmaker to get his makeup done. Luckily for him, this passed without any more songs.

Not that he was missing them or anything.

Not at all.

"So...are we done yet?" Demyx asked, fluttering his now long eye-lashes. Hmmm, he sorta liked how these looked on his face. Maybe he should ask Kairi...

No, that was a bad idea. One hint to Kairi that he like makeup, and he'd be stuck modeling dresses for her, and breaking in her stilettos.

Not that Demyx knew what those were.

Not at all.

"Not yet. An apple for serenity, a pendant for balance, beads of jade for beauty- you must proudly show it! Add a cricket- just for luck, and even _you_ can't blow it." The Matchmaker sings, glaring at Demyx during the last part.

Was it wrong that half of him just wanted to punch her in the-

Wait, did she say luck? She did, didn't she! And she even said that a cricket, _a bug_, would give Demyx luck! By god, maybe he hadn't totally messed up his day!

"Oh, a cricket... how nice. Er, Matchmaker? Would you mind if I had a moment to myself to collect my thoughts? I want to make sure that I don't bring dishonor to my family." Demyx said, bowing his head. Being with the Matchmaker made Demyx learn that she liked it when people were submissive to her.

In bed.

After giving Demyx a critical eye, the Matchmaker nodded in his direction, leaving the room. Cheering internally, Demyx turned at met the little cricket face to face.

Opening the cage door, Demyx motioned for the little critter to come out. "C'mon little guy, I won't hurt you. I don't believe in violence, usually I leave that to stupid, annoying pyros." Demyx said, ignoring how his heart raced when he thought about Axel.

He should really get that checked, or get drunk. Either one would fix his problems. He shouldn't care so much about what the other man thought, what those pictures did to him, what Kairi had said...

"OW!" Demyx cried, rubbing his noise. How did the cricket get out of the cage and attack him? It made absolutely no sense, Demyx said that he came in peace!

Glancing around to locate the cricket, Demyx felt his eyeballs almost vacate his head when he saw the bug smirking at him right near the window. Shaking his head, Demyx yelled when the little bitch jumped out the window.

Who knew that crickets could be so sadistic?

Without another thought, Demyx followed the window, still fully clothed in drag and wearing makeup. He wouldn't give up on his mission, even if that meant that he had to leave the Matchmaker behind.

It was all for the best, right?

Right?

* * *

"And then, my supposed best-friend decides to tell me that his girlfriend ha porn pictures of me and my "Husband". Can you say "fucked up," huh?" Axel complained, grabbing two more beers from Wakka's fridge. Tossing one to Wakka and opening the other, Axel began to greedily drink the alcoholic beverage.

Being drunk was awesome.

Wakka opened his drink as well and started to chug it. "You think that's bad, brudda? Back in Spira, Rikku started a Yaoi club, and do you know what the leading couple was? Me and Kimarhi. He's a freaking giant, blue cat, brudda!" Wakka exclaimed, his eye twitching when Axel just laughed.

"Man, what am I gonna do about this?"

"Ignore it and drink, brudda?"

"That works for now, but eventually, I'll have to leave. My boss is a bitch like that."

"Kairi? Hell yeah, I'd know, brudda. She was almost as bad as Rikku," Wakka said, his eyes misting over in nostalgia. "But at least when she abandoned the island, she gave a reason."

"You ever gonna forgive your friend?"

"You ever gonna forgive your's?"

"...Touché." Axel whispered, finishing his drink before standing up and grabbing another one. It was a shame that the strongest thing that Wakka had was just beer. It was times like this that Axel longed for some good whiskey, vodka, or rum.

Wakka looked at the other redhead curiously. "Hey brudda, would you mind telling me about your husband?"

"Not much to tell, he's a pansy. He can't do anything right, he's weak and refuses to fight. Sure, he plays his sitar pretty well, especially when during nights, but that's about the only good thing he's good for. And he has the large, doe-like eyes. It makes him look so pathetic when he's looking at you with these huge, sea-blue eyes, eyes that just scream all his emotions out loud... Ah, shit!" Axel curses, knowing exactly what Wakka was getting at.

"You fucking tricked me," Axel shouts, pointing a finger at Wakka's head. He's pissed, mostly because he thought that getting drunk would distract him from his thoughts, and partly because Wakka's a douche.

Wakka just smirks at Axel, and the Nobody knows that's how he looks whenever he gets his way with something. Axel can't help but think that maybe he was wrong before, maybe Wakka and himself do have something in common.

"It sounds to me that you already have an idea what you need to do, brudda."

"Shut up and pass me another beer."

* * *

"Ah, Lucky Cricket~~~ Where are you, friend?" Demyx yells as he's running through the Chinese countryside. The blond Nobody isn't too surprised to learn that he's exhausted, specifically because he's been chasing that damned cricket for about an hour. He's come close to capturing it once or twice, but each time the bugger managed to escape at the last moment.

Life hated Demyx.

And Demyx hated life.

His dress was already torn off, now ending at about his knees, and his makeup was slightly smudged. Demyx really didn't care too much though, all that mattered was finding that little, twitchy...

Hearing the sound of the crickets chirping, Demyx turned his head to the left, willing his eyes to focus and find the creature. "You can't hide forever darling, I will find you."

As if the cricket heard him, the chirping suddenly stopped, only to be repeated with more volume. Almost as if there was more than one bug making the sound now. Walking around, Demyx almost sighed when he found the little guy—oh!

Beneath the cricket, where twenty or so eggs, all perfectly alike. It seemed that the cricket hadn't been a male after all, rather a pregnant female. That was the reason that she ran away, to lay her eggs.

For some reason, one that can preferably be blamed on Kairi, Demyx finds the sight adorable. Especially, when the father of the eggs (the one who joined in on the chirping) starts licking the other cricket.

Demyx idly wonders if something's wrong with him for cooing at the scene. He can't bear to tear the family apart, but he needs one of them for his mission...

"Hey, I don't want to harm you, or your family but," Demyx begins, only continuing when he sees the cricket look at him. "I need a cricket. Do you have any idea where I can get one- hopefully one without a family?"

The cricket nods at him, something that surprises Demyx because he was completely prepared to have his nose bitten _again_, and motions for her husband to show Demyx. The man puffs out proudly, and starts jumping away, obviously sure that Demyx was following him.

...Why did this cricket remind him so much of Axel?

Sighing and resigning himself to being the cricket's bitch, Demyx leaps after the creature, trying to keep his eyes trained on the small thing. After a little while, the cricket stops, and turns around to face Demyx, his eyes piercing the Nobody's. It made Demyx feel like the thing could see into his soul.

And, of course, he freaked out at this.

Soon, the cricket broke eye contact and turned around, leaving Demyx alone in a field. He was a bit confused over why the thing left so abruptly, 'cause there definitely weren't any crickets around here and-

The sound of soft chirping makes Demyx stop thinking, instead choosing to use his time to find the cricket that is clearly close by. After scrounging for awhile, Demyx came across a little cricket, all alone in the middle of the field, with a broken leg.

Sometimes, Demyx cursed himself for having such a soft heart.

'Cause all Nobodies totally had hearts; he was just more in-tune with his.

Cradling the creature in his hands, Demyx opened his mouth to speak. "Hey, come with me little guy, with me, you'll be safe. No one would hurt you, I promise."

He honestly didn't expect the cricket to be complacent and go with him, so when the bug hesitantly nods his head, Demyx almost leaps in joy. He's finished his mission, made a new friend, and got a all made up.

Maybe the day wasn't so bad after all.

So, it was with that thought, that Demyx opened a portal for home. He was bringing with him a friend, a new dress, and whatever was left of his self esteem.

Well, two out of three wasn't too bad.

* * *

Axel sighed, looking up from the bottle of his beer bottle. Wakka had passed out about ten minutes ago, and Axel felt bad about leaving him while he was drunk and alone.

But of course, he was Axel, so he soon got over the bad feeling and, after cleaning up the place, he was ready to leave. Grabbing the ball, Axel opened a Corridor to Darkness and found himself transported to the Gray Room with Xaldin and Roxas.

Tossing the ball at Roxas, Axel started walking to his room, intent on getting some good old-fashioned sleep. He was wiped, and could feel his bones protesting every step.

"God damned Kairi, why the hell do I have to do the most ridiculous-" Axel cut himself off when he came face to face with the blond he wanted to avoid, Demyx.

Or, to be more correct, Demyx in a dress.

Damn.

"O-O-Oh A-Axel, I-I, er didn't see you there. Um... how's it go-"

"Why the hell are you wearing a dress?" Axel cut in, willing himself to stop blushing. If he was being honest with himself, Demy didn't look too bad...

...But then again he was Axel, and therefore never honest with himself.

Demyx blushed, and starting rubbing the back of his head like he always did when he was embarrassed, and Axel wondered if he should be worried that he knew that. "Um... you see... my mission was to the Land of Dragons... and...er... I had to meet with the Matchmaker to...er... !"

Axel gaped at the other man, giving Demyx time to do what he did best, and run away. He couldn't believe that Demyx had tried to find another husband... and to be honest, he didn't know what to feel.

But alas, he was Axel and therefore didn't do honesty. So, he felt tired, and drunk, and like he needed to sleep in order to function.

Turning around, Axel entered his room, hoping that his dreams wouldn't be filled with the image of Demyx in a dress. It wasn't like he'd enjoy that or anything either.

Not at all.

* * *

**A/N:** WOOOOOOO~~~~ I'm not dead~~~ I'm merely...tired. Like Axel... er, spent like a month writing and revising this thing, and was super busy with school to put it up before hand. Anyone else feel like three-day weekends are a blessing? Or that APs are a gift from god to torture us all? Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and if you did (or didn't) leave a review. Flames will be used to improve my writing, and make sure Roxas gains an immunity to flames.

...Cause she's introducing those into the bedroom next xD

Till later Space-Cadets~


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